Now Available
| DISCLAIMER! This article is about a project made by fans, which may or may not be officially sanctioned by The Residents and The Cryptic Corporation. |
Now Available is a mini-album by American avant-garde musician C.W. Vrtacek, released in limited numbers as a single-sided cassette in 1983 on Vrtacek's label Leisure Time Records. An "inside joke" parody project comprising six original tracks written in "satirical imitation" of The Residents, Now Available is now best known as the earliest notable fan-made Residents tribute recording.
An early version of the tape was sent to The Residents' managers The Cryptic Corporation in 1980, housed within a film reel canister, with a note asking for permission to distribute the parody in a limited manner among a small number of the artist's friends and figures within the avant-garde music community; despite this, the cassette edition's liner notes state that the release was "in NO WAY" authorized by the Cryptic organization.
Although the mini-album has never been reissued officially, all six of its tracks were later included on a bootleg CD-R, also titled Now Available, which circulated in the mid-to-late 2010s as part of the notorious "OHM" bootleg series. The CD-R, dubiously credited to "The Residents and Friends", also contains tracks by artist Buck Tardley and a handful of pieces by The Residents.
History

Charles O'Meara (who recorded under the name C.W. Vrtacek) was a Connecticut musician who began recording the tracks that would become Now Available in 1980, in a style intended to mirror that of The Residents.
The mini-album was apparently conceived as an "inside joke" intended for limited distribution among Vrtacek's friends in the avant-garde music scene, such as percussionist Chris Cutler, David Thomas of Pere Ubu, and the founders of the Residents fan club W.E.I.R.D..
Vrtacek compiled the first three songs, "Who Are The Residents", "What Shall We Call You", and "Just Like You", into a cassette titled Now Available - at this time credited to the parodic band name The Presidents (of the Avant Garde) - in September 1980. The cassette was intended to be issued in an extremely limited edition of eight copies in total, each housed in a metal film canister.
Only two copies of this three-track edition of the tape are known to exist; the first was sent to The Cryptic Corporation with a letter requesting their permission to release the tape among Vrtacek's friends. Little more would be heard of this project for two more years; Vrtacek's first solo album, Victory Through Grace, was released in 1981, followed by a second, Days and Days, in 1982. Around this time, Vrtacek recorded another three tracks for the Residents parody project; "You Me", "Cats Fight" and "Crazy Sound".
Release
The complete six song Now Available mini-album (now credited simply to C.W. Vrtacek) was released in 1983 via Vrtacek's own Leisure Time Records, in a limited cassette edition, which was apparently distributed primarily to the artist's friends and figures in the avant-garde music scene, including Chris Cutler and Fred Frith of The Residents' Ralph Records stablemates Art Bears.
At least two variants of the cassette are known to exist; one with cover art and liner notes printed on pink paper stock, and another on purple paper stock with a different front cover design.
Legacy
C.W. Vrtacek's comments
C.W. Vrtacek posted the following comment on a digital copy of the tape hosted by a music file sharing blog, in response to critics who had accused him of plagiarizing the sound and style of The Residents:
hi i'm C.W. Vrtacek, the guy who created the Residents parody. my real legal name by the way is Charles O'Meara.
let's get a few things straight...by the time i did the residents parody i had already recorded two solo albums, i didn't "copy" the residents sound, it isn't representative of what i do, it was JOKE because i know "the inidividuals responsible" for the residents sound, i.e., i knew "their real names"...so it was just an inside joke that circulated to some friends at the time...chris cutler, david thomas, a few others i forget, probably fred frith...
in a lot of ways i wish i had never done that thing because people keep digging it up without realizing that i've recorded BUNCH of solo albums, that i'm a member of Biota, that i've collaborated with Nick Didkovsky, Chris Cutler, Steve MacLean, Thomas DiMuzio and others and released five albums with my band Forever Einstein...
OK?
Track listing
1980 version
- Who Are The Residents (1:04)
- What Shall We Call You (1:56)
- Just Like You (2:31)
1983 release
- Who Are The Residents (1:04)
- What Shall We Call You (1:56)
- Just Like You (2:31)
- You Me (0:41)
- Cats Will Fight (2:35)
- Crazy Sound (1:12)
OHM bootleg CD-R
- The Residents - Available Piece
- The Residents - Not Available Concentrate
- Buck Tardley - Edweena
- Buck Tardley - Ship's A'Going Down
- Buck Tardley - The Making of a Soul
- Buck Tardley - Never Known Questions
- Buck Tardley - Epilogue
- The Residents - Never Known Questions (Unreleased Complete Version)
- C. W. Vrtacek - Who Are The Residents
- C. W. Vrtacek - You Me
- C. W. Vrtacek - What Shall We Call You
- C. W. Vrtacek - Just Like You
- C. W. Vrtacek - Crazy Sound
- C. W. Vrtacek - Cats Will Fight
- The Residents - Hidden monologue on Not Available album
Liner notes
1980 version
Notice
This recording was conceived, recorded, and played (as well as packaged). Entirely by me. This is Edition number ONE.
9-9-80
Letter to The Cryptic Corporation

Dear Cryptic Corp. and The Residents,
Hidden in the enclosed metal can is a tape filled with some music (3 cuts) that will sound very familiar to you. It was created entirely by me, but at the present time only one other "can" exists, a copy which I (wish to) mail to W.E.I.R.D. I would greatly appreciate some sort of response from you on this. You see, while I have no intentions of releasing this music on vinyl, I would like to offer taped copies to some other members of the Avant Garde (especially Chris Cutler). I could do this without permission from you, but I will not. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for The Residents and the Cryptic Corp., and I would therefore be very happy if you could consent to making these tapes available. It would be clearly spelled out on a notice affixed to the tape that this project is in no way connected with either Ralph Records, The Residents, The Cryptic Corp., or W.E.I.R.D. There would be NO MONEY made on these tapes. I will not be terribly upset if you give a big thumbs down on this whole project. Originally, this music was intended to be sent ONLY to W.E.I.R.D., The Cryptic Corp., and The Residents themselves, should they request a copy. I do feel however, that certain individuals besides those named would appreciate this project. I hope that no part of this tape offends any of those who hear it. I give you my word that this spoof is just a good natured poke at some people who have had a great impact on me and my music. By the way, each can is numbered, this one being "1". There can never be more than eight since that's how many cans I have. Unless you give the go ahead, only two, besides my copy, will exist. Additional copies are available to you on request. Please add a few coins to cover postage if possible.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Charles W. Vrtacek1983 release
This is a parody. A parody is a musical immitation of something. This is an immitation of the underground recording group The Residents. It is in NO WAY connected with or authoized by The Residents, Ralph Records, or the Cryptic Corp. It is also in NO WAY representative of my own musical output, which can be heard on the award winning, #1 album "Victory Through Grace" and the forthcoming "Days And Days" (which is different from "Victory..."). Confused? Don't feel bad, it happens to me all the time.
- Everything on this tape is done by me.
- Comments and questions welcome.
- Charles W. Vrtacek
- Leisure Time Records
- P.O.Box 337
- New Milford, CT 06776
- U.S.A.
- This material is c 1983 by Leisure Time Records. Keep that in mind.