Mr Wonderful

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"Mr. Wonderful" (sometimes referred to as "Life Would Be Wonderful" or simply "Wonderful") is a song by The Residents, which opens their concept album Demons Dance Alone, released in 2002 by Ralph America and Euro Ralph. The song is also a sort of centerpiece in the Demons Dance Alone live show, being reprised twice throughout the setlist with different lyrics.

Live versions

Demons Dance Alone tour

"Wonderful" was performed three times in the setlist of the Demons Dance Alone live show. In the DVD, it is introduced each time with title cards saying, in order, "Loss", "Denial", and "Acceptance". All three instances of the song are also accompanied by a break section where the singer gives a scripted monologue.

The first instance of the song ("Loss") shares the same lyrics with the album version, "Mr. Wonderful", which is sung from the perspective of a homeless man reminiscing about his life and the losses he suffered. In the live version he monologues about his childhood pet dog.

The second instance ("Denial") is sung by Molly Harvey, playing a babysitter who is in love with the child's father and yearns to have a baby of her own. This iteration is referred to as "Ms. Wonderful". Curiously, this narrative seems to draw connection to an early version of the song "Betty's Body", in which the lyrics allude to a "ridiculous" and "fat" woman who seems enamored with the baby she cares for. These early lyrics were first heard in the 12 Days of Brumalia track "Day 10" which is based on "Betty's Body".

After a suite of songs not from the DDA album, "Wonderful" is also briefly reprised before the song "Beekeeper's Daughter".

The third and final instance ("Acceptance") is again sung by the Singing Resident, but this time as himself. This iteration is generally referred to as "Life Would Be Wonderful". The new lyrics introspect on The Residents' own career, and ponder upon their current career situation. The Singing Resident monologues about an encounter by the group with James Brown, one of their biggest heroes, in 1965.

Other live versions

"Mr. Wonderful" was last performed by The Residents in a medley with "Betty's Body" on the Way We Were mini-tour of Australia in 2005. The song would be performed again in January 2023 by the acapella men's choir Conspiracy of Beards at The Residents' 50th Anniversary secret show at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music.

Lyrics

Album version / "Mr. Wonderful"

Life would be wonderful
Life would be wonderful

If I was a little taller;
If I was not quite so old;
If my raincoat had a collar
to help me keep away the cold

If my little mouse named Norman
was still alive inside the sock
he used to keep himself so cozy
inside his little cardboard box

If I had a nice location
to sit where people passing by
looked like they were on vacation
and helped me buy some pecan pie

[monologue heard in live version]
"When I wuz a kid, I had this puppy, and her name was Sniffy. Every day around 6 o' clock, I'd feed dinner to ol' Sniffy... I'd walk outside with that pan full o' dog food and I'd whistle... ol' Sniffy would just come runnin' like a streak of black lightnin'.

Y'know, I guess life really was wonderful back then... it's just nobody ever told me."

If I could afford a breakfast
of bacon, toast and scrambled eggs;
If I hadn't been so reckless
when I lost my other leg

If there was an open doorway
where I could be warm and dry
and visit with some memories
that I made once upon a time

Life would be wonderful

Note: In the Way We Were rendition, the lyric "When I lost my other leg" is replaced with "When that horse fell on my leg".

"Ms. Wonderful" / "Wonderful 2"

Life would be wonderful
Life would be wonderful

If I had a happy baby
to help me chase the blues away;
If I had a way to save
the love he gave me every day

If the ticking of the clock
did not remind me that I am
passing through instead of stopping
to feed my baby candy yams

If he had a fluffy blanket
and a pink and puffy nose;
If he had a bell and rang it
when he kicked his tiny toes

"She never really saw me. Not really. Not like he did. One time he told me that I had nice hands... Nice hands! I never really thought about it before, but now I put lotion on them every day and I think they're looking better than ever. I'm pretty sure I was losing weight around that time too... maybe that's why she fired me. Maybe... Oh, did I tell you about her baby? Aw, they had the cutest little baby! He was so pink and fat and cuddly... and when he laughed, he sounded just like a little bird. Like a tweety bird!

You know, I never told him this, but... his hands were pretty wonderful, too."

If the father of the baby
that I know I'll never have
wasn't married to the lady
whose house I cleaned when I was fat

Life would be wonderful

"Life Would Be Wonderful" / "Wonderful 3"

Life would be wonderful
Life would be wonderful

If we had a major label
and a nice four-figure deal
and a promo guy able
to make you think that we are real

If we got a nomination
for a Grammy, maybe we
could make a comeback and our agent
could get us back on MTV

If our good friend Snakefinger
hadn't had a heart attack;
If we had a Negro singer
who could do some mellow rap

"Once when we were on tour, we were doing a soundcheck at the House of Blues in Las Vegas, and James Brown — the Godfather of Soul himself — made an unexpected appearance. James was just looking at the place, he was thinking of possibly appearing there himself... so we spoke for a moment, and I told James I had actually met him once before back in 1965.

A bunch of us had just seen him in concert and, after the show, we were out riding around and we saw their bus parked at a gas station, so we pulled over and started talking to the performers, and it turns out they were building a new freeway in South Louisiana about that time, and they hadn't built all the entrances yet in Lafayette, where we were... so they weren't sure how to get there. One of the guys went to school at USL down there, and he said, "Yeah, come on, I'll show you how to get there." So James got in his Cadillac with his wife and his manager, then the truck came, then the bus, and they followed us through all these back roads for 10 or 15 minutes, and finally we got to the freeway. They stopped the Cadillac and James got out, he walked up and he shook hands with all of us through the window of our car and he thanked us. And for me, it was absolutely one of the most amazing moments of my entire life... but for James Brown, it was just another night on the road that he had long forgotten.

It was wonderful."

If we had that hit recording
we might get on Oprah, too
And maybe we could afford
a new computer, maybe two

If we were not aging hippies
with misguided fantasies
living in a land that's pimping
war to save our SUV's

Life would be wonderful

List of releases

• Demons Dance Alone (2002)
• Demons Dance Alone DVD (2003)
• The Way We Were (2005)
• Demonic! The Residents Live In Oslo! (2012)
• 80 Aching Orphans (2017)
• Eyeful (2020)
• Demons Dance Alone pREServed CD edition (2024)

See also

• Demons Dance Alone
• Demons Dance Alone (tour)
• The Way We Were

External links and references

• Demons Dance Alone at The Residents Historical